Soulmate
by cyanide fervor
Summary: Some people say that part of the reason why twins are so close is because they're sharing two parts of the same soul. Rin might not have half of my soul... But she definitely has half of my heart." rinxlen twincest. explicit content in later chaps.
1. The Discovery

**Soulmate Chpt 1 - The Discovery**

A/N: This intro is really short. Sorry. They'll be longer eventually. xD;

_"Some people say that part of the reason why twins are so close is because they're sharing two parts of the same soul. Rin might not have half of my soul... But she definitely has half of my heart._

_I'm not sure when I realized that I was in love with my own twin sister. Maybe I've always been in love with her, and never really knew it until now. For years, I've denied my feelings. My mind has always told me that these urges were wrong and unnatural, that society would never understand. My mind has always told me that I can never reveal my heart to her, that we could never live a normal life together. We could never have a normal relationship together. My heart tells me that I cannot live without her.... My mind tells me I cannot live with her, either._

_She might not even reciprocate my feelings. She might not feel anything for me other than sisterly love._

_For now... There's nothing I can do."_

Rin was in shock. Kneeling on the floor of her brother's room, she clutched Len's diary like a life preserver. Hands shaking, she flipped through the pages. His handwriting was small and neat, unlike her untidy, non-consistent scrawl. The diary was filled with her twin's confessions, with his thoughts and feelings. Rin had never realized that Len worried so much about her. There were pages about how he worried she would fail her college exams, pages about how he worried that she didn't eat enough, pages about how he worried she'd hate him or worse if he ever told her his feelings. Slowly, she closed the book and set it down on the floor.

When she had walked into Len's room half an hour ago, Rin had only been looking for a comic book she had lent to him last week. She had noticed the corner of his diary sticking out from underneath the mattress as she had bent over to puruse his bookshelves. When she read the words "PRIVATE - PLEASE KEEP OUT" emblazoned across the cover, she had gleefully started turning pages, hoping to find out something embarrassing, something to tease him about later.

She had never expected to find his love confessions. She had never expected that Len's protectiveness and kindness towards her might have stemmed from anything but brotherly instinct. When Len stopped being the stereotypical annoying little brother, and started acting his age, she just thought he'd grown up. She had never expected to find out that he had developed a romantic interest in her.

And Rin had never expected that she might be developing an interest in him, as well.

For months, Rin's thoughts about Len had been less than innocent. But she had attributed it to loneliness and sexual tension. After all, she'd finally broken up with Kaito last winter, and hadn't gotten laid since. It was summer now, and it wasn't surprising that she'd had dirty thoughts about the only attractive male around... Even if he was her brother. She had tried to push away her thoughts, but they kept hovering at the back of her mind. She told herself that it was wrong to think that way about her twin, even if she had no intention of ever revealing it. However, maybe her feelings really were something more than sexual tension.

Sighing, she stood up and flopped backwards onto Len's bed. The shock had worn off, but now there was a splotchy red blush rising in her cheeks. She glanced at Len's alarm clock. It was already 7:30 pm.... Len would be home from his part time job any minute. She should probably get out of his room, but.... Rin rolled over onto her side, her face pressed against his pillow. It smelled somewhat musky, with a slight, barely-noticeable hint of something citrus-y.

_Should I tell him? _Rin's brow furrowed. She felt a pang of guilt for reading his diary. _What if he gets mad at me?_ Rin always hated it whenever she and Len fought, though they rarely stayed angry for more than a day or so. However, Rin couldn't imagine looking at her brother the way she did before, ever again. She had to say something about it, she couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened.

"Rin? What are you doing in my room?" A tenor voice rang out, making Rin jump.

".....Is that my diary?"


	2. Dire Consequences

**Soulmate Chpt 2 - Dire Consequences**

A/N: Alright, this one should be quite a bit longer. Thanks for the great reveiws, everyone! Stick with me. I'll try to update quickly, but no promises. This chapter is dedicated to my dear Satsuke, because she never reveiws anything.

".....Is that my diary?"

Ice flooded through Rin's veins, but she could feel a blush rising in her cheeks. How could she have been so stupid to just leave it out, especially when Len was due home at any minute?

"I, uh, I mean, I was just getting that comic book, and uhm, I saw, uhm, yeah." Rin stammered out as she sat up, flustered. Len's face was oddly pale, and he was still a little sweaty from work. His restaraunt uniform was rumpled, and he nervously ran a hand through his hair, bringing a little more chaos to his blonde mass of hair.

He was staring at her. Rin shrank a little under his gaze. Usually, she'd try to joke or tease her way out of trouble, but she doubted it'd go over well this time. Len took a breath and opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something, then closed it, then opened it again.

"What.... Did you.... Rin, did you read it?" Len asked her quietly. Rin could just barely hear the hint of a shake in his voice. She looked away from him, her cheeks burning brighter. The ice flooding through her seemed to have morphed into flames.

"Uhm.....yeah." She met his eyes. Len's face was lined with shock, and he flushed to a shade of red identical to her own. His face contracted with a violent mix of embarrassment and anger, and he took steps forward and smacked her quite hard on the top of her head.

Rin was so surprised that for a moment, she forgot to feel guilty. Then irritation flashed through her and she jumped up.

"What did you do that for?!?!!" She glared at him and smacked him right back, just as hard.

"What kind of sister reads her brother's diary!? That is so wrong!!!" Len exclaimed indignantly.

"That doesn't mean you should hit me!! You jerk!!!"

"You hit me right back!! At least I respect people's privacy!!!"

"If you'd given me that comic book earlier, I wouldn't have had to go look for it!!! It's your own damn fault, little brother!!"

"You're only older by a few minutes! I'm TALLER!!! And STRONGER!!!"

"Well, you're not smarter!!!!"

"...........I've gotten better grades in every single class since elementary school, dummy!!"

"Well....Uh.... You still don't have any common sense!!"

"No, YOU don't have any common sense! You're the one that read my private diary!!!!"

"Well, at least I don't write about being in love with my twin where anyone could read it!"

A look of hurt crossed Len's face, followed by more embarrassment. Rin felt a pang of guilt through her anger. She'd gone too far.

"I didn't mean that!" She cried out.

"Then what did you mean?" Len asked, his brows furrowed and his eyes filled with pain.

Rin sat back down on Len's bed, a mingled feeling of confusion and anger coursing through her. "I don't know...." She murmured. Len sat down next to her, letting their elbows brush against each other. She jumped nervously, scooting a couple inches away from him. There was a tension-filled silence between the two siblings as Rin stared fixedly at the seamline of Len's yellow comforter.

"Rin...." Len's voice was soft. "Rin.... Look at me, please."

Somehow, Rin managed to tear her eyes away from the blanket and gazed fearfully into the familiar blue eyes, so similar to her own. Len's face was set in stone, his jaw set and determination blazing in his eyes, mixed with an almost-unnoticeable trace of sadness.

"Rin, listen to me. I've wanted to tell you how I feel for weeks, for months! I couldn't. I'm a coward... And I'm sorry for that. It's not fair to you - you had a right to know. You're probably shocked and freaked out, and you probably think I'm messed up. But I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want you to leave me all alone. I guess that's selfish of me. I..I'm sorry. I understand if you want to move out. I'll tell Mom and Dad that we had a fight or something. You could probably stay with Kaito, he still likes you a lot. Or Miku, she lives in the same apartment complex as we do. Miku likes everyone, she'd let you stay with her. Or maybe - "

"I don't want to move out, Len."

"It's okay, I knew you'd want to, I just.......Wait, what?" Len stared at her.

"I said I didn't want to move out." Rin's voice was a little hesitant, as if she couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Are you sure?" He looked at her, perplexed.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Rin's voice rose indignantly, her face turning red again.

"I...uh.....well, okay." A befuddled expression crossed Len's face, followed by a flash of curiosity. "Wait, does that mean that you love - "

"I'm not in love with you!" Rin exclaimed, standing up nervously. "Well, I love you, as a brother, but I'm not in love, I think, well, I don't really know, because I've been having these weird thoughts lately, but I'm pretty sure I'm not in love, but I guess it's possible that I might like you a little. Maybe." Rin stopped, self-consciously aware of her babbling.

Len was staring at her. She fidgeted uncomfortably.

"What?" She muttered anxiously.

"I...uh....I'm...surprised."

Rin laughed shortly. "Welcome to my world."

Len laughed softly. "Well.....What now?" He asked, looking at her with a strange expression.

"I don't know." Rin shrugged, looking at a spot on the wall rather than meeting Len's eyes.

"Why don't we sleep on it? We can make a decision in the morning. It's almost 8:30, and you don't have to work tonight. And there's no class tomorrow. We should sleep in for once." Len suggested.

"Decide what, exactly?" Rin pulled out a thread from her shirt.

"Decide if we should just forget this ever happened, or...well, whatever."

A chill ran down Rin's spine as she nodded. "Ok. I'm kinda tired anyways."

"Yeah, me too. We had a long day." Len sighed.

"Well, uh, I guess I'll talk to you in the morning. Good night." Rin walked towards the door.

"Good night, Rin."

She slowly pulled the door closed behind her, then entered the room across from Len's bedroom along the narrow hallway. Rin's bedroom was the same size as Len's, but the chaos and clutter made it seem smaller. It wasn't messy, per se, just disorganized. Clothes overflowed from the basket in the corner, and the desk was covered with papers and pens and comics. Her blankets were in a tangled pile on the floor at the foot of her bed. Her walls were the same shade of pale peach as Len's, with the same white carpeting that covered most of the apartment's floor. While Len's bookshelf was neatly organized and filled with books, hers was crammed with DVDs, manga and random knick-knacks. Rin softly kicked a CD case out of her way as she crossed the room, to her dresser.

Rin's thoughts were full of turmoil. She should have told Len that incest is wrong, that his love was wrong. She should've left, she should've done something other than stay. She should've have told him something, anything but the truth. She should've been more disgusted, more shocked. But she didn't. She wasn't.

Rin pulled on a pair of boys' boxer shorts and a teeshirt, her standard sleepwear. She scooped her blankets up from the floor and dumped them unceremoniously onto her bed, straightening them somewhat before leaving the room to brush her teeth and wash her face. She tried to focus on her nightly rituals, rather than thinking about the evening's events. From the bathroom, she wandered into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she opted for an orange as a bedtime snack. For a moment, she contemplated re-entering Len's room to offer him one, but decided against it. Rin didn't particularly want to face her twin until she had to.

Finally, Rin turned off the light and crawled into bed, curling up on her side and sighing. Unbidden, Len's words from earlier entered her mind.

...._I didn't want you to leave me all alone....I've wanted to tell you how I feel for weeks....._

She thought of the question that Len had asked, the one that had left her so flustered that she hadn't even let him finish it.

_Does that mean that you love me?_

Did she love him? Well....She loved him as a sibling, most definitely. But romantically? Rin was unsure. She definitely felt something for him, something that went beyond the usual twin love. But was it actual, real, true love?

Rin's thoughts slowed as she dozed off. She dreamed first of Kaito, his unkempt blue hair being blown by an unseen and unfelt wind, his eyes filled with sorrow. She dreamed they were sitting together on a bench, overlooking the sea. Rin felt numb and disconnected. Though she could tell that the water was a bright, deep blue, and that the grass was a crisp, fresh green, everything seemed to be in black and white. As Kaito leaned in to kiss her, his face morphed. In a sudden blast of color, the face so close to hers became a face that she knew almost as well as her own. Kaito's dark eyes were replaced by bright ones, sparkling blue eyes framed with dark lashes. Kaito's dark blue locks of hair were exchanged for shining golden strands. As Len leaned in to steal a kiss, birds sang, the world erupted in a sense-blasting wave of sound and color and Rin woke up, gasping, staring into the dark black shadows of her bedroom. She raised her fingers to her lips, touching them lightly, trying to recall the sweet feeling of Len's lips on hers.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. On her bedside table, the glowing red numbers of her digital clock read "3:57 AM". Sighing, she got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Standing on her tip-toes, Rin reached up to the highest shelf, grabbing a small glass and filling it with tap-water. She sat at the kitchen table, the small light from the nightlight in the hallway providing just enough light to see. As she sipped the water, Len's bedroom door opened, and Len walked out cautiously, clad only in pajama pants, his hair mussed and shadows dancing on his bare chest. Rin hadn't seen Len shirtless in a long time. She'd forgotten how well-toned he was. Len was thin, but he had developed some muscles from working out.

"What are you doing up?" Len asked her.

"I, uh, had a....dream. I was just getting some water." She muttered, still sleepy. "Why are you up? I'm sorry if I woke you..."

"No, I was already up. I couldn't sleep." He shrugged.

"Oh," she said. An awkward silence ensued.

"Uhmm... What was your dream about?" Len asked, stretching.

Rin shrugged, a blush rising in her cheeks. "I, uh, don't wanna talk about it."

"Ohhh." Len said, nodding in understanding. He assumed she'd had a nightmare. Rin had nightmares frequently as a child, and had often come into her brother's room in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with him.

Rin opened her mouth to correct him, but thought better of it. She sipped her water, hoping it was too dark for him to see her blush.

"Uhm...If you want to, Rin, you can come sleep in my bed. Like you used to. Uhh, but only if you want!" Len's words rushed out, and he nervously ran a hand through his hair. Rin blushed furiously.

To her surprise, she almost wanted to say yes. Rin had never liked sleeping by herself, but.... She fidgeted with the edge of her shorts, debating what to say.

"Uhh, I wouldn't hit on you or anything! I promise!" Len said frantically. "I just want you to be able to sleep, and uh, you liked to sleep in my bed a lot when you were worried."

It couldn't hurt anything, right? Just one night?

She gave him a sheepish smile, her face still pink. "Uhm.......Well, okay."

..::TO BE CONTINUED::..

A/N: Keep up the great reveiws, everyone! I'll update more quickly, I promise. ^^;;


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